You Need a Hobby

 "You need a hobby." I love my husband, but UGH. He seriously expects me to add one more thing to my already overflowing plate?! The look of disdain I shot him probably said more than enough, but since I have a problem keeping my mouth shut, I said: "That's an insane thing to say, especially given you know how much I'm already juggling." 

I'm a new mom, I just started a new job, I commute 45 minutes to the office 5 days a week, I'm exclusively pumping for my son (who REFUSED to latch, but that's another blog post), I do all the cleaning in the house, and, like most moms, I carry the majority of the mental load for the family. I barely have time to sit down and have a snack after work, and now he wants me to start a hobby?! I fear this man has lost his mind!

"You need a hobby BECAUSE you are juggling so much," he calmly tells me. "You don't have an outlet, you need to do something that's just for you..."

I immediately burst into tears. "But I don't want to start crocheting!" He laughs, "Who said anything about crocheting?" Well, technically, nobody did, but that's what all millennial women start with when they decide they need a hobby. 

"Just find something that excites you. I'll help make sure you get some time carved out to do it. Don't do something for anyone else, just yourself." 

Ugh. Did I mention I love my husband? He has a calmness to him that readily matches my anxiousness. He sees me when I don't even see myself. He recognized that I was drowning in the depths of post-partum, trying to figure out how to balance who the old Megan was, with this new mom version of Megan. I thought when I had my son, everything would slowly start to fall into place. But it didn't. It was harder than I expected in ways I never imagined, and easier than I expected in ways I had imagined would be so terribly hard. 

"I'll think about it," I told him honestly. I'd add it to my ever-growing to-do list. But as I lay in bed that night, mindlessly scrolling, I thought about what he said. I used to love to write. I used to blog in college, just because. I used to find writing a creative outlet for my energy, thoughts, and opinions. But somewhere along the way, I stopped. Maybe I could blog again? But what would I write about? 

I sat on the idea for another few months. Life was busy. But then, I got an idea for a name for the blog, Almost The Same. Because I'm still Megan. I'm still the same person I always was, well, almost the same. Motherhood didn't change me; it just rearranged me. I could use my blog to talk about how things have shifted, how some edges have softened, while others have sharpened. The blog could be a space where I untangle the difference, where I write about being a mom, navigating hard feelings, and slowly returning to a version of myself that feels both familiar and new. 

So, now, here I am, 15 months post-partum with a joyful toddler, a wonderful husband, two crazy dogs, and a whole lot of love in my life. And I'm picking up an old hobby again. I'm starting a blog. Join me on this journey, as I figure out who I am and who I want to be. 

Because I'm almost the same. And that feels worth exploring.